Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Funny Quotes of the Day #69

[from Still Standing]
Linda: It's so nice to see you guys have finally taken an interest in junior high. Only took you 25 years!
Bill: When you have kids, I'm sure you and donor sample 3256 will feel the same way we do.

[from Still Standing]
Tina: [listening to phone] Brian's talking to a girl.
Judy: Tina, that's not nice. It's a private phone conversation.
Tina: He's reading her a poem.
Judy: Oh, let me hear!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Funny Quotes of the Day #68

[from NCIS]
Abby: Jethro is fine. I'm taking up a collection for flowers.
McGee: Why would I give flowers to a dog that attacked me?
Abby: Maybe because dog is man's best friend or maybe because I am a forensic scientist, and I could boil you from the inside out and never leave a trace. [McGee stares then takes out his wallet]

[from NCIS]
Ducky: When did you last have a tetanus shot?
McGee: Probably after that time Dicky Newsome and I were fighting over the galactic hunt Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Tony: So... last year some time?

[from NCIS]
Gibbs: What do we got?
Tony: [watching a tape of a guy eating Funyuns] A sudden urge to hit the vending machines.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Funny Quotes of the Day #67

[from Home Improvement]
Tim: You buy lots of things without asking me.
Jill: Like what?
Tim: This couch.
Jill: How can you compare that to season tickets? I bought this couch because we needed a place to sit.
Tim: That's why I bought the tickets. I wanna go to the game, I need a place to sit!

[from Home Improvement]
Jill: You are completely unwilling to compromise.
Tim: I don't even know the meaning of the word compromise.
Jill: You don't know the meaning of a lot of words.
Tim: And don't you forget it!