Funny quotes of the day #120

[from New Girl]
Nick: I'm fantastic at sex!
Winston: You're scared to get a haircut!
Nick: Yeah, I don't like getting a haircut, it's too intimate. What does that have to do with sex?

[from New Girl]
[talking about sex]
Nick: I was sixteen! I have gotten a lot better!
Schmidt: You haven't gotten that much better. I used to listen to you and Caroline all the time when we were in college. It was like listening to a rescue crew trying to communicate with a stranded miner. "Are you okay? Yeah. Are you okay? Yeah."

Funny quotes of the day #119

[from New Girl]
Cece: (about Nick) And did you see his feet? Guy's feet point at what they want. His feet were pointing right at you.
Jess: Why wouldn't his feet point at me? Otherwise, he's standing like a duck.

[from New Girl]
Nick: No, I don't dance. I'm from the town in Footloose.

[from New Girl]
Jess: No! He's here early, how do I look?
Schmidt: It's better if you don't know.

Funny quotes of the day #118

[from Still Standing]
Lauren: Dad, I need some help with my homework.
Bill: Yeah, I know, I've seen your grades.

[from Still Standing]
Judy: You quit your babysitting job? What are you going to fall back on if this falls through?
Lauren: The fact that I'm 14 and you kind of legally have to take care of me.

[from Still Standing]
Linda: Brian's going to take my picture for lindasgooseclothes.com
Bill: Was isellcrap.com taken?