Funny quotes of the day #95

[from How I Met Your Mother]
Lily: Hey, guys, good news. First of all, you can ignore all the e-mails and texts we've sent you.
Robin: We have. Go on.

[from How I Met Your Mother]
Lily: At tomorrow's game, if you're anything less than a teddybear stuffed with cotton-candy and rainbows, I will silent-treatment your ass into the ground. You will think the time I found your Internet search history was a picnic.

[from How I Met Your Mother]
Ted: I never said I was gonna get back together with her. But I was thinking, she's new in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave her a call?
Marshall: No, no, Ted, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing: Number one, supervolcano; Number two, an asteroid hits the earth; Number three, all footage of Evil Knievel is lost; Number four, Ted calls Karen; Number five, Lily gets eaten by a shark.
Lily: I'm Lily, and I approve the order of that list.

Funny quotes of the day #94

[from Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs]
Buck: Are you ready for adventure?
Crash, Eddie: Yes, sir!
Buck: For danger?
Crash, Eddie: Yes, sir!
Buck: For death?
Eddie: Uhh, can you repeat the question?

[from Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs]
Sid: [to the baby dinosaur] Spit out little Johnny or we're leaving the playground right now!
[the baby dinosaur spits up a bird]
Sid: There you go. The picture of health.
Aardvark Mom: That's not little Johnny!
Sid: Hey, it's better than nothing.

Funny quotes of the day #93

[from Criminal Minds]
Trailer Park Manager: What the hell do you want? Can't you read?
Reid: I'm not a salesman. I'm with the FBI.
Trailer Park Manager: FBI? You're not serious! You look like a pipe cleaner with eyes. I could snap you like a twig.

[from Criminal Minds]
Morgan: I don't know how I could forget a face like hers.
Reid: You've been with so many girls you can't remember all their names?
Prentiss: Oh, come on, are you surprised?
Morgan: This has never happened to me before!
Reid: It has never happened to me before either.
Prentiss: If can't happen to you; you have an eidetic memory.
Morgan: And besides, you've only got one name to remember.