Sunday, December 30, 2012

Funny quotes of the day #124

[from Psych]
Henry: I think I should also work the case.
Vick: As what? A detective?
Henry: Nobody knows it better than I do. You can reinstate me this one time.
Lassiter: Come on, Henry, with all due respect, you can't just hop back in the game after all these years. There's been a lot of changes on the job.
Shawn: Lassie's right. For example, the bicycle is no longer just one giant wheel with a tiny one in back.
Gus: And now my people can vote.

[from Psych]
Shawn: Woodrow my good man.
Woodrow: Shawn! Always nice to see you walk through that door.
Shawn: Well let’s hope you never see me rolled in on a gurney.
Woodrow: Let’s, although I would be honored to saw through your chest and remove your good-natured heart from its cavity.
Shawn: I’m touched. Woody, in your professional opinion, how do I die?
Woodrow: Murder, Gangland-style execution. We never find your head.
Shawn: That’s a shame.
(Gus raises his hand to find out how he dies)
Woodrow: (to Gus) You slip in a tub.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Funny quotes of the day #123

[from The New Adventures of Old Christine]
Christine: I finally decided to get my act together.
Matthew: Oh, no, this isn't about your audition tape for So You Think You Can Dance is it?
Christine: No. Although I watched that tape again. I don't think I can dance. I can dance!

[from The New Adventures of Old Christine]
Christine: You were in love? Where was I?  
Matthew: Well, most of it happened after 9:00pm, so you were in bed.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Funny quotes of the day #122

[from The Big Bang Theory]
(Sheldon enters Raj's)
Leonard
: Hey, I thought you were with your new buddies.
Sheldon
: I had to leave. They were having fun wrong.

[from The Big Bang Theory]
(Wolowitz places keys in the door)
Mrs. Wolowitz
: Who's there?! Are you a sex criminal?
Wolowitz
: Sex criminals don't have keys, mom!

[from The Big Bang Theory]
Raj: Last night I had a dream we got so rich from the app, you and I bought matching, side-by-side mansions. But, there was a secret tunnel connecting your front yard to my back yard. What do you think that means?
Howard
: It means after we play handball, I'm showering at home.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Funny quotes of the day #121

[from Glee]
Puck: This is what we call taking the high road, which I was shocked to learn has nothing to do with marijuana.

[from Glee]
Puck: You told him what we're gonna do. You're like a modern day Eggs Benedict.

[from Glee]
Sue: Why would someone assume I'm a friend of Ellen just because I'm manish and I have short hair and I only wear track suits and I coach a girls' sport and I married myself?

[from Glee]
Blaine: If you would stop being so defensive...
Santana: I'm trying. But your hideous bowties are provoking me.