Funny quotes of the day #115

[from The Mentalist]
Jane: You have a fluffy white dog and an entire house. Are those hummel figurines?
LaRoche: Yeah. You find that amusing?
Jane: Well I just didn't picture you living in an actual house.
LaRoche: Where did you think I lived?
Jane: In a burrow on a riverbank. Somewhere like that.

[from The Mentalist]
Jane: You know, I should applaud your bravery, but I gotta say, practically speaking I-I-I... What were you thinking? You could have killed me!
Hightower: I'm sorry. I got mad. I didn't know what I was thinking.
Jane: That was some good shooting, though. That leg shot that took him down was very precise.
Hightower: I was aming for his head.
Jane: Oh, fantastic.

[from The Mentalist]
Jane: So, you play bad cop.
Hightower: I'll be me, thank you.
Jane: Right. Exactly what I said.

[from The Mentalist]
Jane: Trina, are you there?
Lisbon: Sweetie, it's all right. We're with the CBI.
Jane: I know it sounds made up, but we have a web site and everything.

Funny quotes of the day #114

[from Two Guys and a Girl]
Pete: Berg, no more medical experiments.
Berg: Just remember my eye drop experiment paid for that couch.
Pete: Hey, Berg? What color would you say that couch is?
Berg: (squinting at the gray couch) I don't know...blue!?

[from Two Guys and a Girl]
Bill: I thought your birthday was in May.
Pete: Nope, that was just a rumor started by my birth certificate.

[from Two Guys and a Girl]
Nurse: So there's a rumor floating around the hospital that you and Ashley broke up.
Berg: That's not so much a rumor as it is a flyer I made at Kencos and passed around.