[from Home Improvement]
Jill: Sweetie, why don't you just tell me what's wrong?
Mark: Nothing's wrong! And don't call me sweetie.
Jill: But I always call you sweetie.
Mark: That's because you wanted me to be a girl.
Jill: Who told you that?
Mark: Brad and Randy.
Jill: Well, they're grounded for a week.
[from Home Improvement]
Al: I thought you said you wouldn't talk about your personal life on the show.
Tim: Well, does this mean anything to you? (shows him crossed fingers)
Al: How would you feel if I talked about my personal life on the show?
Tim: When you get one, you can!
[from Home Improvement]
Tim: Having a baby is a big deal. It's up there with putting in a new sprinkler system.
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