[from Castle]
Castle: So. Looks like I managed to make it through the case without getting injured, shot or killed.
Kate: Yeah, well, maybe tomorrow.
[from Castle]
Alexis: How come we never had a nanny?
Castle: Well, your mother and I decided if someone was going to screw you up, we wanted it to be me.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Funny Quotes of the Day #84
[from Castle]
Kate: No signs of struggle. He knew her.
Lanie: Even bought her flowers. Who says romance is dead?
Kate: I do. Every Saturday night.
Lanie: A little lipstick wouldn't hurt.
[from Castle]
(while being held at gun point)
Kate: Castle, you okay?
Castle: Yeah, but this psycho here needs a breath mint.
Kate: No signs of struggle. He knew her.
Lanie: Even bought her flowers. Who says romance is dead?
Kate: I do. Every Saturday night.
Lanie: A little lipstick wouldn't hurt.
[from Castle]
(while being held at gun point)
Kate: Castle, you okay?
Castle: Yeah, but this psycho here needs a breath mint.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Funny Quotes of the Day #83
[from How I Met Your Mother]
Lily: Ted, if you murder me and bury me in New Jersey, I'll haunt you forever.
Ted: But if I murder you and bury you somewhere else?
Lily: Then I'll leave you alone. I'm sure you had your reasons.
[from How I Met Your Mother]
(after calling Robin, leaving a weird sound)
Barney: She wasn't there. I left a voice-mail.
Lily: You left a voice, but it wasn't male.
Lily: Ted, if you murder me and bury me in New Jersey, I'll haunt you forever.
Ted: But if I murder you and bury you somewhere else?
Lily: Then I'll leave you alone. I'm sure you had your reasons.
[from How I Met Your Mother]
(after calling Robin, leaving a weird sound)
Barney: She wasn't there. I left a voice-mail.
Lily: You left a voice, but it wasn't male.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Funny Quotes of the Day #82
[from Bones]
Booth: Ok, if you can't see the guy's face, maybe you can clear up a reflection.
Zack: That's a workable idea.
Booth: Well, I'd say thanks, you know, if you didn't say it like it was some kind of a miracle.
[from The Office]
(Jim and Dwight are looking for a birthday theme)
Jim: Okay, so far our ideal party consists of: beer, fights to the death, cupcakes, blood pudding, blood, touch-football, mating, characids, and, yes, horse hunting.
Dwight: You are right. Forget horse hunting, it's stupid.
[from The Office]
(Dwight lights firecrackers in the smoky office)
Andy: Oh, my God, the fire's shooting at us!
Booth: Ok, if you can't see the guy's face, maybe you can clear up a reflection.
Zack: That's a workable idea.
Booth: Well, I'd say thanks, you know, if you didn't say it like it was some kind of a miracle.
[from The Office]
(Jim and Dwight are looking for a birthday theme)
Jim: Okay, so far our ideal party consists of: beer, fights to the death, cupcakes, blood pudding, blood, touch-football, mating, characids, and, yes, horse hunting.
Dwight: You are right. Forget horse hunting, it's stupid.
[from The Office]
(Dwight lights firecrackers in the smoky office)
Andy: Oh, my God, the fire's shooting at us!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Funny Quotes of the Day #81
[from How I Met Your Mother]
Ted: Almighty TiVo, we thank you for all the gifts you have given us. The power to freeze live TV to go take a leak is nothing short of godlike. Let's not forget fast forwarding through commercials. It seems greedy to ask anything more from you, oh Magic Box. But if you malfunction and miss the Superbowl, we will destroy you in the alley with baseball bats. Amen.
[from How I Met Your Mother]
Ted: Come on, you were only 16 when you had sex, I was 17...
Marshall: You were 18.
Ted: Barney was probably 12.
Barney: Good one Ted. I was six..ff..four..how old were you again?
Ted: 17.
Barney: Dude, me too!
Ted: Almighty TiVo, we thank you for all the gifts you have given us. The power to freeze live TV to go take a leak is nothing short of godlike. Let's not forget fast forwarding through commercials. It seems greedy to ask anything more from you, oh Magic Box. But if you malfunction and miss the Superbowl, we will destroy you in the alley with baseball bats. Amen.
[from How I Met Your Mother]
Ted: Come on, you were only 16 when you had sex, I was 17...
Marshall: You were 18.
Ted: Barney was probably 12.
Barney: Good one Ted. I was six..ff..four..how old were you again?
Ted: 17.
Barney: Dude, me too!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Funny Quotes of the Day #80
[from How I Met Your Mother]
Ted: I had the most amazing night ever.
Marshall: Tell me about it! That cake. Best cake I ever had. Seriously, my stomach was like 'Hey bro, I don't know what you're eating cause I don't have any eyes but it's basically awesome so keep sending it down.'
[from How I Met Your Mother]
Marshall: For as much as we know about the cockamouse, there are still so much we don't know.
Robin: Well, we know that there's no such thing as a cockamouse. What we don't know is what you guys have been smoking.
[from How I Met Your Mother]
Marshall: No, it wasn't a cockroach, it had fur. And only mammals have fur.
Lily: It was a cockroach.
Marshall: Come on Lily, the only way it was a cockroach was if it was wearing the skin of a mouse it just killed.
Lily (horrified at the thought): Oh my god!
Ted: I had the most amazing night ever.
Marshall: Tell me about it! That cake. Best cake I ever had. Seriously, my stomach was like 'Hey bro, I don't know what you're eating cause I don't have any eyes but it's basically awesome so keep sending it down.'
[from How I Met Your Mother]
Marshall: For as much as we know about the cockamouse, there are still so much we don't know.
Robin: Well, we know that there's no such thing as a cockamouse. What we don't know is what you guys have been smoking.
[from How I Met Your Mother]
Marshall: No, it wasn't a cockroach, it had fur. And only mammals have fur.
Lily: It was a cockroach.
Marshall: Come on Lily, the only way it was a cockroach was if it was wearing the skin of a mouse it just killed.
Lily (horrified at the thought): Oh my god!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Funny quotes of the day #79
[from Stargate Atlantis]
Sheppard: So, he's made mistakes in the past. Who hasn't?
McKay: Why are you looking at me?!
[from Stargate Atlantis]
(after walking underwater to a Wraith hive ship in water suits)
Sheppard: That took too long.
McKay: Yeah, well, I probably won’t be able to disarm the self-destruct in time anyway, so we’re really not in a rush.
Sheppard: Why don’t we find it first, and then you can be negative.
[from Stargate Atlantis]
McKay: Can I please have someone else do these?
Weir: Performance evaluations?
McKay: Yes.
Weir: No, year end employee reviews are important. They help people get promotions and raises.
McKay: Look, asking me to do performance evaluations is ridiculous. I am the first to admit I don't know who these people are nor do I care to. Look, if you like, I could take you down the hall to the labs and just point to the people who annoy me more than the rest, but that's about as useful as I get.
Sheppard: So, he's made mistakes in the past. Who hasn't?
McKay: Why are you looking at me?!
[from Stargate Atlantis]
(after walking underwater to a Wraith hive ship in water suits)
Sheppard: That took too long.
McKay: Yeah, well, I probably won’t be able to disarm the self-destruct in time anyway, so we’re really not in a rush.
Sheppard: Why don’t we find it first, and then you can be negative.
[from Stargate Atlantis]
McKay: Can I please have someone else do these?
Weir: Performance evaluations?
McKay: Yes.
Weir: No, year end employee reviews are important. They help people get promotions and raises.
McKay: Look, asking me to do performance evaluations is ridiculous. I am the first to admit I don't know who these people are nor do I care to. Look, if you like, I could take you down the hall to the labs and just point to the people who annoy me more than the rest, but that's about as useful as I get.
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