[from Psych]
Henry: The truth, Shawn. You're not really my son, are you? Because I gave you a watch with the inscription, "Don't Lose", and what is the first thing that you do?
Shawn: I lose the watch.
Henry: You lose the watch!
Shawn: Well, here's a news flash Dad. My birthday wasn't yesterday, okay? It was...four months ago.
Henry: Yeah, well here's a news flash for you, kid. After you were born, it took you four months to smile at me. That's when the clock started ticking.
[from Still Standing]
Brian: Are we part indian? If we are, I can get a scholarship.
Judy: Well, your dad is a member of the slot club at the Indian casino.
Brian: Which, I'm guessing, is why I need a scholarship.
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