Funny Quotes of the Day #42

[from NCIS]
[Gibbs and Abby are signing to each other]
Tony: You know, considering no one in this room is actually deaf, that's really annoying. [Gibbs signs something to Abby] Hey! That was about me, wasn't it?

[from NCIS]
Kate: When I'm a mother, I'm never letting my kids out of my sight.
Tony: Yeah? Well how do you plan on doing that?
Kate: GPS locator strapped to their ankle. Audio and video surveillance built into their clothes.
Tony: No, I mean the part about becoming a mother.

[from NCIS]
Kate: Oh, have you been working out?
Tony: All summer long...thanks for finally noticing.
Kate: No, I mean right now, 'cause you're sweating like a pig and it's not very attractive.

[from NCIS]
Tony: Hey. The only train in the area's an Amtrak. It left DC at 1620 and arrived Lorton 1730, average speed 65 miles an hour. Now, we know it passed our dirtbag at 1706, right? So...dammit. I owe Mrs. Powers an apology.
McGee: Who?
Tony: My tenth grade math teacher. I told her I'd never be able to use anything she taught us in real life.